Tune this world out

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Sitting in your bed with your back pressed against a wall,
You think of ways to ward off the demons of everyday life.
Eyes stressed out and yet projecting millions of things you let go off.
Plugging in headphones,
You let the music tune the world slowly out.
With drums and guitar ringing in your ears,
You make friends with yet another scotch to melt the reality down.
Feel little envious of your dreaming self,
Unlike you, he has the full access to your past.
Ghosts of murdered dreams laugh their lungs out,
And the walls around wear a familiar gown of those back in hometown.
Rusty hopes keep dancing like a tamed snake,
Slave to the tune of someone else’s songs.
As you drown yourself slowly in the whirlwind of golden bubbles,
Waves splashing the shores of glass drown out dark clouds of thoughts.
Alarm goes off yet again, while you snooze your troubles for a while,
And sleep becomes the only time you live life.
Definitions of ‘worst’ keep updating themselves like Adobe,
With ‘this too shall pass’ tattooed across your heart.

Serious fall of a Humpty Dumpty heart

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This is a story of a little bird; I like to call my heart. It stays in the rib-cage inside my chest and locks itself out at the slightest smell of love. No, I have not cut down its wings. It soars high and falls worse than a Humpty Dumpty off a wall. I mean seriously. It keeps falling every now and then.

Just like it fell the other day, when I was taking my regular jog at Rock garden. I was jogging round and round…taking a deep breath while moving on upward slopes & trying to control my speed while running over the downward ones. My lungs bloated big & shrunk back for oxygen as I came to a halt near my favorite spot. I touched my chest with the right hand & could feel heartbeat racing high. Giving out a sigh, I sat at the edge of one of the benches and Hippy came running towards me. It stood near my feet gazing at me awkwardly and I smiled at it. It replied by jumping up in my lap and within few seconds it started making a purring sound. It definitely was the most innocent happiness I had ever come across.

And then I spotted her. Sitting at the far corner of garden with her big round spectacles sitting firmly over her sharp nose. I smiled and heard a knock on the door of rib cage simultaneously.

“Are you serious? We don’t even know her yet’’ I asked my curious heart man.

‘’And we would probably never do if you do not take me to her’’ came a quick reply.

“Well, what if she says no? What if she already has someone in her life?’’ I tried to keep him calm and locked inside.

But little heart man had already made up his mind and was ready to try his luck.

One of us took the other to the bench at far corner of the garden.

“Well, not many come here to do serious reading. I mean at least that’s what I used to think” I said to her after rehearsing and rephrasing it thrice in my mind.

‘’Depends on what you call serious reading’’ she said without lifting her head and I still caught the smile conquering her reddish cheeks.

“Yes. I guess, reading a novel as thick as the one in your hand. I mean most people just come here with a newspaper to read.’’ I said and checked on my heart, luckily still sitting inside my chest.

She turned towards me as I said that and put her dark brown hair behind her ears.

“You are right. But honestly speaking, this is my first time here. ‘Rock garden’. I really liked the name and I just decided to spend some time with it. You come here often?” she asked me and I spotted the little heart man in black suit crawling towards her sneakily.

“Get back you. You Humpty Dumpty. Don’t you do that again’’ I warned him and she waited for my reply.

“Yes I come here quite often. In fact everyday you can say. I like this place. I mean it’s so calm. All of us who come here are like friends of Rock garden, you can say. It’s so serene…”

“And yet kind of an escape’’ she completed my sentence.

“What do you mean, an escape?” I was puzzled and at the same time worried about the little heart man – now sitting on her lap and looking at her. He was going to hurt himself again. I knew it.

She folded the book in her hand and answered, ‘’Yes. An escape. An escape from reality. A much needed break for everyone you see around us. Be it kids playing football just for the summers or those middle aged women walking backwards over the green carpet to fight diabetes or simply youngsters using it as a platform to keep their bodies fit & toned. We are just travelers to this place. We would be waving goodbye to the Rock Garden as soon as our motives are fulfilled.’’

“I guess. But Rock garden does have true friends as well’’ I said. I loved the way our conversation was going. Well to be honest, little heart man had gotten me engrossed in interesting conversations earlier as well. And then I ended up putting a bandage on his wounds from the fall later on.

Nevertheless I continued to fall for this girl and said to her ‘’Yes Rock garden does have friends as well. Real friends. Like you see old Mishra uncle sitting over there?” I pointed at a man sitting on a bench across ours with his hands rested on a walking stick. “Or the brown kitten sitting near him? That kitten has made this place its home even before it learnt to jump over the bench. I call it Hippy. Love the way it looks deep into your eyes and then jumps up on your lap’’ I realized I had gotten carried away a bit with the kitten part, when I saw little heart man now sitting in her left palm.

She laughed a bit and asked me ‘’A cat-person, I see?’’

“Well if it qualifies as a pick up line, yes I am’’ I said scratching my hair with one hand.

“Haha, normally it does not. Anyway I never asked your name. I’m Ayesha. And you are?’’

‘’I’m Piyush. I’m a Lawyer. And you?’’

“I’m studying Literature. At DU.” She said.

“Oh I should have guessed. That’s why books and all.’’ I said as I searched for him. Little heart man had escaped yet again.

That did get me worried. I thought of the previous times it had flown away. And fallen for the ones who never cared for him. Little heart man would later come home to its rib cage with his head tilted and feeling all sad with teary eyes. I would then sit and console him for days.

‘’He had fallen once again probably. She did not even notice him sitting on her palm’’ I thought while she got up to leave.

“I guess I’m going to try and be friends too…’’ Ayesha put the book in her bag and said,

“You know with Rock garden. I guess I’ll finish up this novel here only someday’’.

I was still sulking over the empty space in my chest as she said that. I was going to miss the little heart man.

She zipped her bag up and gently put the other hand in the pocket of her blue jeans.

“Well to come to think of it, I’m thinking I’m also going to be friends with…” she took a pause to see me looking deep into her eyes and continued…”I’m thinking I’m going to be friends with Hippy too’’ she raised her eyebrows and waved me goodbye.

“There I go again. Return of Humpty Dumpty it is. Falling off the wall of love’’ I thought to myself.

“I love cats’’ she said as she turned around and I saw little heart man sitting comfortably on her shoulder winking his eye.

Before I could think anything, I felt something breaking into my mind…tiptoeing down into my chest and yes its beat rhymed perfectly with the tune of little heart man. A tiny red heart wearing a pink top and blue jeans was winking back.

A game of rock, scissor & paper heart

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One half finished story in the pool of ink and

Few unedited verses of thoughts passed by.

Caffeine wears off his nerves slowly

And so do her thoughts,

As they seek refuge in draft folders of his heart.

 A kind of High that makes his heart beat,

in tune with the song melancholy to her smile.

A game of Rock, Scissor and Paper,

That he lets her win every single time.

They let their demons kindle the romance,

And he forgets they have paper hearts.

Happily ever after is where the story ends,

Curtain closes on the sweet past and

The reality jump starts.

He retreats yet again in the dungeon he calls escape,

Writing poems on the tombstone of love.

Reading them to the ghosts of her,

Not yet ready for a goodbye.

Blurred lines

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Waiting lips met the whiskey mug again,

And they kissed so tenderly,

A kiss that was exchanged a thousand times already,

Between the eyes that froze into each other’s sight.

Blurred lines danced upon the border of which.

The reality was marinated with drunkenness slowly.

I was back to the corner, where I had first seen you.

Guess you are sipping happiness elsewhere,

But in the vision, I still saw myself with you.

The place where we sat for hours at noon,

Under the tree that we carved our names into,

It was being felled down, what once used to…

Symbolise our love and I could see you,

Yes I saw you when the pretty little white bird flew,

It left the fallen tree because it had to search for a new,

A new house to rest its feet on…you did too.

And so did I…when our heart beats stopped rhyming to,

The same music we once danced to.

Yet I sat around the fallen branch,

Caressing it tenderly, watching the love wither away slowly.

We shared a bottle or two,

My inebriated heart and the bitter-sweet memories of you.

Blurred lines was the answer to,

Question whether we really burnt the bridges down.

Or was forgetting each other was a lie draped as truth.

My eyes woke up to the real world meanwhile and

I found myself sitting inside a cubicle with feelings so blue.

Guess, it wasn’t the magical liquid that got me high.

It was you.

Had always been you.