Mood swings of a restless dream

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Brain over heart. Job over sweetheart. Money over profile and Career over dreams.

Because we are supposed to. Because we are a part of the society, that trains us to be one amongst the flock.

Wisdom teeth start making their way in, while we are busy murdering the teenage dreams. High school crushes from the scrapbook make themselves seen after a long time, adding their honeymoon pictures online. Paycheques in your bank account have become a routine, finding their way out to somebody else’s wallet every time you buy yourself a pint.

Amidst thousand racing thoughts in your mind, you seek peace. Peep your head outside the bedroom window and feel the night kissing your cheeks. Moon is there already, slowly playing its tricks on you. One minute you are dreaming and the next it is your reality. You have a mind tickling realisation that you’ve been through your best times already. You wish, someone told you so.

In the world where most of us are looked as replaceable, you wonder how you still manage to keep few relations tucked safely in. ‘Friends’, such a fancy label given to those who enter your heart unexpectedly and carry a piece of it with them forever. You feel happy to have let them steal it.

Most look at themselves in the mirror, but you look for yourself. At your messed up hair and the dark circles underneath your eyes. You smile once and yet know this is not how you do it. Cold water drowns your eyes into a moment of ‘nothing’ for a minute and immediately throws you back to the present time.

‘Today’. And you know you have to deal with it. Alone mostly. A series of bad decisions do a mocking dance every morning and Sun tries its best to make you smile. Birds are still chirping like they used to and streets are full of smiles. Hoping you could see it.

Rubbing your eyes, you snooze the dreams yet another time and tell yourself, it is a new day.
Caffeine has become your drug and newspaper the first person you make eye contact with. Skipping horoscope section intentionally, you fold the newspaper back and leave. Hoping you will take a stand at least today. For yourself. And take a leap over the puddle of boredom. To the dreamy land. It waves at you.

Grass is greener on the other side. You know it. Because you fertilized it yourself in your favourite dream. We all know secretly where we have to be.

Heart over brain. That’s how it was always supposed to be.

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